Dear Asshole,

I hate that you have so still have so much control over my life and don't even realize it. I never talk to you and yet to this day you are influencing my decisions . And I hate it. I'm sick of hurting. I'm sick of having to be so guarded because I'm scared to get hurt. I'm sick of waking up in the middle of the night from the nightmares that you have given me from the past. I don't want to come home from dates with other guys crying because I'm terrified that they are going to do what you did to me. I keep searching for faults in all of these guys. . . and I realized that if I search for them then I'm going to find them, no matter what. No one is perfect. I'm just tired of being scared. And I'm tired of getting hurt.

And you know what sucks the most? You have no idea what you've done to me. You think you're innocent and haven't done anything wrong. I HATE YOU!




And yet I still love you. . .