I Had to Find My Way, The Day You Broke My Heart You Handed Me a Chance to Make a Brand New Start You Helped Me Find My Way

The past few days have been very enlightening. I feel that I should share my findings with all of you.

First of all for those of you who don't know my father was forced to go to the hospital on Tuesday. The day before he had gone in for a stress test and it came back abnormal. They sent him to Crawford Long for a heart catheter and I was really freaked out about it. It turns out that he's fine and just has to watch his cholesterol and take some medication for his blood pressure. No biggie but my whole family was really worried about it so thank the Lord for being amazing like always!

I went and saw Legally Blonde while I was home and thoroughly enjoyed it. Seeing the production really recharged me with feelings of girl power and reminded me that eventually you're gonna end up on top. It was a very nostalgic evening. Especially when it came for "So Much Better" it reminded me of when I got cast for the first time. The rush, the disbelief, tackling everyone in sight. It was a nice memory :) But it's a great show, maybe not the most well-executed, but really enjoyable!

The next day I went and saw Micah. And I was suprised by how easy it was. Like we just picked up where we left off. I didn't get upset after seeing him. I was totally fine. Do I miss him? Yes. Do I want things to be different? Of course. But I'm finally ok with it. I've accepted it. I realized that it's not happening at the moment (or maybe never, who knows?) And I'm compeletly alright with it. After hanging with him I went to hang with my mom at Best Buy, Target, and then Subway to get food before our movie started.

As I was perusing through the book aisle I came across a book that sort of took me by surprise. He's Just NOT That in to You. I was fully aware that it was a movie and in fact had seen it and loved it. It opened my eyes to a lot of stuff but I didn't know that it was a book first. Hmm. . . I pondered, I really should give this a read.

I picked it up (along with a really cute princess piggie bank!) and headed to see The Proposal with Mama. Great movie. Ryan Reynolds can make my babies any time he wants. He's gorgeous!

I started reading the book as soon as I got home. Very easy read. But here's the thing. If a guy is really in to me, he's gonna make it happen. He WILL ask me out. He WILL call. He won't forget about me, and girls we really don't give guys enough credit. They are just as resourceful and we are and will find a way to get in touch with us, whether he has to ask a friend, stalk Facebook, or look up and dial every name in the phone book to find you. If he wants you he'll put up the effort.

And you know what else ladies!?!? We've GOT to stop making excuses for guys! Any excuse they give you is a polite way of saying "I'm just not that in to you." We're all dating the same guy. He's super busy, just got out a serious relationship and wants to take things slow, blah blah blah. You've heard it all before. These guys are LAZY and who wants to date a lazy guy? And not only that, if YOU have to do the asking, what does that say about him? If he really wanted to date you he would ask. He's not too shy and he doesn't want to ruin your friendship.

So this is my new mantra. I'm not doing any more chasing. I'm not voluntarily giving guys my number anymore. If you want to be with me, guess what? You're gonna have to work for it. And yes I know it's gonna suck having to essentially wait around on mister right to find me. But honestly? Any guy that I have been in a relationship with where I asked him out, has ended. Guys like to chase us! It's more fun for them and gives them an ego boost.

This is going to sound cocky but I'm a good catch. And so are YOU, you foxy lady you! Women are worth more than having to make excuses for useless guys. So let's not do it anymore. If you're a chick and you're reading this GO PICK UP THAT BOOK NOW! And then go see the movie :)

And the enlightenment continues. . .
I was driving home from HCO today and was listening to my absolute favorite radio station in the world CosmoRadio on Sirius 111 and XM 162. My favorite DJ's Taylor, Victoria, and Kenny (Ok, everyone at Cosmo is my fav lol), shared some interesting statistics with me.

-86% of women are married by the time they are 40.
I'm stoked because I have 20 more years for a man to find me!
But then I recieve this piece of news. . .

-The average marrying age of American women is 25.

OH MY DEAR GOD.
I turn 20 in like two weeks.
SO in five years I'm supposed to be married or on my way to it?
Yes I understand a lot can happen in five years. . . BUT MY LORD!?!?!?!?!! I still feel really young. . . and 25 is young too!

I freaked out a little about this. I'm really upset about turning 20... I'm getting old and I don't like it!

But life is great :)
I'm deleting all of my online dating accounts. :)
And I'm thrilled about it.

Dream Within Reach, Don't Stray Beyond.

As many of you know, I don't sleep much. Or at least when I try to it's not a solid night's sleep. Stupid nightmares will wake me up or I'll just wake up for no reason. Unless I drink the night before haha. But last night was the first night in a long time where I slept soundly. And I had the most amazing dream. And it seemed so real. It was like my life was perfect. Megan and Chris were there with me hanging out in some random field while the sun was setting. And he was there. We all laughed and talked until the sun went down and gazed at the stars. He held me. And then he kissed me and life ended as I knew it, just like it always had before. And for a split moment all was right in the world. . .

And then I woke up. :( *Sigh*

I haven't really updated because nothing is really going on in my life. I'm constantly missing people. Even though I'm surrounded by a lot of people I feel alone. All the time. It's weird. I miss Megan. I miss Chris from home. I miss my puppies, Honey and Sugar. I even miss random people from high school that I hardly ever think about. And I'm pretty sure it goes without saying who I miss the most.

My fourth of July was ok. Hung out with work friends which was fun. But of course the fire department was there to monitor fireworks and such which made me a little sad. For some reason the fourth is a very romantic holiday. I don't know if it's the fact that it's summertime or the fireworks. . . or the fact that I'm usually with someone in a romantic fashion. The fireworks were beautiful and I could only think of one person that I wanted to share them with. Don't get me wrong I had fun :) I just wish. . . well, that things were different.

Work is going ok.

I'm addicted to Victoria's Secret :( I bought a new miracle bra last week which I've been wanting since September, and it's FINALLY gone on sale. From 50 bucks to 25. I was impressed with my patience. Ya gotta love sem-annual sales. My bathing suit separates were like 7 bucks each. But then I went to VS AGAIN and bought 5 pairs of really cute *PINK* undies. And then I went online and saw that the sales continue! I bought a pretty babydoll slip in light blue with matching undies. Can't wait till it comes in!

I'm going to see Legally Blonde next week!
And then I'll be home for almost a week for my birthday. And then 42nd Street!

YAY!